People all around us are... Burned Out

Last week, we went to Oregon for a family reunion/summer vacation. We flew into Medford and drove down to California to see the Redwoods and the beach, and spend the night before joining the other four siblings of my hubby and their kiddos. 

It wasn't my first time seeing the Redwoods. It wasn't even my second or third. And yet, I was struck by the majesty of the place. The strength and beauty of the trees was almost unbelievable. I stopped by one tree and took this shot, marveling at how tall and strong and unattainably beautiful it was. It was one of the largest we saw in this section of our hike, and smaller redwoods surrounded it. My kids and I paused and admired it. 

Imagine our surprise when we walked around the corner and discovered that it had been the victim of a fire. This image doesn't show it very well, but the inside of the tree had been burned out. in fact, I'd say almost 40% of the inside of this tree was entirely gone. 

I'm not an arborist. I know nothing about trees, but that thing was still alive. The burn had happened long enough past that more wildlife had begun to cling to the insides of the tree.

And it was still going-green healthy branches abounded on the front of it. From one side, that tree looked like the strongest, healthiest one in the bunch. 

After we reached the car, I couldn't seem to stop thinking about that tree. In this day and age of social media especially, but honestly ANY TIME, and ANYWHERE, people put on their best faces. They dress up and make-up and talk themselves up. They look strong and beautiful and healthy and ready to put the other people around them to shame. And in part, that's true. I'm surrounded by beautiful, hard working, kind, generous, smart, talented people. 

How many of us are burned out? And by what secret things? Demons from our pasts, baggage, mistakes, abuse? All of these things can leave people hollowed out inside. It has to be harder for that burned tree to keep making healthy branches, to stay upright in winds and rain. And yet, an outsider from the right perspective can't see that struggle. 

Your friends, your family, they may struggle with illness you don't see. It could be carefully concealed so it doesn't define them, or it could be an injury or illness that isn't visible because it's a mental illness. It could come and go. They could be dealing with siblings or parents or loved ones who are ill, or draining. They could have a child who's struggling. They could be dealing with failure to meet their own lofty goals. 

Or maybe things are just going wrong for them a lot. 

So often, there's a tendency to look at others and say, "My life is better because of x, y, and z." Or to look and say, "I could handle these things and my life was harder. Why can't they?" 

But no one's life is the same. No one's burdens are the same. Christ offered to carry everyone's burdens. It didn't matter to him if the people he aided were (perhaps) physically stronger (although I realize that might not be biologically possible, but you see my meaning), if they were richer, or if they had a better or easier childhood. He doesn't fault any of us for needing His help, even though we weren't asked to carry our crosses alone after living a perfect life. He doesn't hold any of us to His standard. He loves us where we are, how we are, exactly as we are. 

We all need to do a little better at judging less, not lashing out in anger or frustration, and being patient with the shortcomings of those around us. Even those who look strong, steady, shiny, sparkly or impressive. Because those very loved ones may be burned out, and it may be up to us to keep them going, to keep them turned toward the sunlight. When we send barbed words or messages, it chips away at their strength instead of bolstering it. 

My wish today is that we may all remember that we can't always see things from all sides. Have kindness, have patience, and have forgiveness in your heart. I know sometimes I'm burned out and need some grace, and I'm sure many of you do too. Let's offer that grace and a kind word whenever and however we can. 

The Devil Went Down to Georgia

My two year old son and I love to dance in the mornings. He'll take my hand and drag me into my own bedroom (that's where we dance for some reason) and he will point at my phone and say "dance." The other day, the song that came on was The Devil Went Down to Georgia. 

I really enjoy that song. It's catchy, and fast and has a great tune. But this time, the words made me think. In case you've never heard it, it goes something like this. "The Devil went down to Georgia, looking for a soul to steal. He was in a bind, he was way behind, he was looking to make a deal." He then finds a fiddle player, and offers that player a solid gold fiddle, if he can defeat the Devil by playing better than him.

So, confident in his skills, and cognizant of the fact that he might be sinning by taking such rash action, Johnny decides to take the Devil on. He competes and... he wins! He gets the shiny fiddle made of gold, AND he gets to keep his soul. The Devil lost.

Wow, what an exhilarating ride! He was able to defeat the Devil himself. How many of us would love to defeat the Devil and his demons? How many of us would like to win a fiddle of gold for five minutes work? It's attractive. The sin, of course, was Johnny's pride. He felt he could outsmart the Devil, and in the song, it works out. I'm going to come back to this, never fear. But I think there's another major mistake here I want you to think about. Johnny felt confident in his abilities, too confident, and that's pride. But he also overvalued that fiddle made of gold. To him, some "precious" metal was worth the possible cost. He offset his SOUL with a lump of gold. I think this may not be a sin, but it's certainly a major mistake. Think on that for a moment.

My younger girls fight and squabble incessantly. When I drill down to the start of the fight, it's nearly always "Tessa told me I couldn't fly." Or, "Emmy said I'm not the queen, and she is instead." They allow the other person to limit their lives and then they cry and scream about it. I always try and explain the same thing. They're allowing that other person to be their boss, they're letting that person limit their joy and ruin their day. If someone tells me, "Bridget you aren't good enough, you aren't pretty enough, you aren't kind enough," I don't let them decide that.

They aren't my boss.

Now, in the song's story above, Johnny is the only one who has the power to give up his soul. When the Devil comes down, he willingly offers up his soul in exchange for a lump of shaped metal.

He lets the Devil be his boss.

I've had dozens of friends and family in the past decade decide to leave the church. Every single one of them (save one) has stopped believing in GOD. That's right, they didn't just say, "This isn't the faith for me." They said, "I have no faith."

I believe they have been willing to set their souls on the shelf. They are willing to forgo their faith in God, and thereby the support and strength that comes from my Savior, and from the Holy Ghost. So I'm sad not to see the local friends at church anymore, but I am also sad for them, because I think they are willing to trade their souls.

I understand that to them, this might seem offensive, like I'm judging them.

I want to say to those friends if they read this, with as much feeling as I possibly can, I am not trying to judge any of you at all. Not in the slightest. You no longer believe in the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, and that's your decision to make. I'm not saying you belong to the Devil, but if I said that, it shouldn't bother you--because you think it's all nonsense! But I do believe you've surrendered your efforts to polish up your soul for God. (If you still believe in God and are worshipping in your own way, then clearly none of this applies to you!)

But when you tell me that I should read the books you read that led you down the path you took, please understand that it's offensive to me. When you compare me to an ostrich with my head in the sand, please try to comprehend that I do not see it that way at all.

I am a daughter of God. I believe this to my bones. I have a soul that I am trying to consecrate to God. In doing so, I hope to become like my Heavenly Father. That means I am trying to learn to communicate as he communicates, through the Holy Ghost and His messages and inspiration. That is as valid a method of evidence to me as your books and essays are for you. If you act like I'm ignorant, or idiotic for not traveling the path you've travelled, that's offensive to ME.

I don't like to be at odds with my friends and family. Quite the contrary. I'm not writing this message for you, though. I'm writing it for members of the church, like me, who may be pressured to dive into the messages or books or teachings that try to tear down the church.

To that allegation, that I am sticking my head in the sand? That I am ignoring the "evidence," I say this. I will not pledge my soul against the Devil's gold fiddle. He will never be the boss of me. Never. Of course the Great Deceiver could inspire a book that would trick and confuse me. I do not have the pride that Johnny had in my own intellect, that I believe that I can outplay (or outwit) a Son of the Morning. I would lose my soul in the process. And of course that's the Devil's hope, and it has been all along.

When the Devil comes knocking on my door, offering me a fiddle of gold, I tell him I have a boss, and it's Jesus Christ, the risen Lord. I tell him I believe I am a daughter of God and I don't need a golden fiddle. I know the church was restored. I know Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. I know the Prophet is a good man who leads our church. I won't be dissuaded by a bunch of lies concocted by the Great Deceiver, not when the divine spark of God, the Holy Ghost, already testifies to me that God loves me, that He lives and that I can become as he is one day if I remain faithful.

God is my boss, no one else. I hope my children will believe the same.