#MineToo

With the coming of Father's Day, I've been thinking a lot about what exactly my husband brings to my home, to our family and to the beauty of our lives. I've been thinking more about the sacrifices he makes, his dedication to myself and our five
kids, and the example he sets.

My husband was the single largest blessing of my entire life, and I thank God for him every single day.

I have been richly blessed. I have a wonderful set of parents, including a rock star dad. I had a fantastic example to look to when I was growing up. I have two amazing brothers and my sister married a wonderful man.

Now that I'm married to Whitney, I have some great brother-in-laws, too.

A few months ago, when #metoo swept the nation, I couldn't quite put my finger on what bothered me about it. I appreciated the way it showcased the magnitude of the problem to those unaware. I loved that women felt safe enough, and empowered enough to speak up. I had hope that in today's world, maybe the problems of assault, of harassment, and of fear for women might be someday eradicated, or at least mitigated and far, far less common. I really hope we all emerge better educated, and better armed to handle this type of thing. I felt optimistic that the world might really be changing.

And yet, it took me weeks to actually post #metoo for myself. Why did it take me so long? I'm not afraid to say it. I've talked to countless people about my experiences over the years. After much internal struggle, I was finally able to pinpoint the why. It was because I felt like right along with the positive sweeping changes, and awareness, #metoo also increased the suspicion, and the nervous fear of the men in my life. Men who are the most amazing, supportive, incredible people I have ever known.

My two sons are beautiful and fresh and new. They are learning how to treat women from me, from their dad, and from society. I hope they will learn, more and more, about how women are their equals, and even their superiors in many ways. I hope they will learn to love and respect women, all women, of all ages, and from all parts of life.

I have faith they will do all those things, because they have men around them who do all of that and more. They are surrounded by GOOD men, men who care, men who work day in and day out to make the world a better place for every single woman living here.

So today, while I do not mean IN ANY WAY to detract from #metoo, the power, the purpose, the movement, I would also like to say #minetoo. Because my men, the men in my life, have lifted me up. They have provided support, care, a sounding board. They have helped heal me from my #metoo experiences. They been nearly super human in their efforts to make this world a better place. Today I am thankful for my husband, my father, my brothers, my brother-in-laws, my neighbors, my friends. I am grateful for my sons, and for the amazing role models who surround them, showing them how to make sure no more women have to say #metoo, ever. I do not want to detract from the powerful message we have all seen, but I would like to add to it. There are awful things out there, and men who have done bad, bad things. There are men today who still do, but there are good men, too. Positive, life changing, strong and caring men. They deserve a seat in this dialogue. They deserve to be highlighted.

If you have husbands, family, or friends who are making the world a safer place, I hope today of all days, and for days to come, you will honor them. Show them by posting #minetoo, that your world is full of beautiful, strong, caring, thoughtful men who care for women, love God and serve all people. Fill the world with hashtags that let them know we love them and welcome them into our lives, our homes and our worldview. Because Men are Good and Beautiful and Strong, too.

How Can I Possibly Help?

I was recently called into the Primary Presidency. This is new for me, and I am not very good at anything yet, but I am learning. One thing I did this week was go through the Sharing Time manual for 2018 and look at the monthly themes, which all have an affiliated scripture.

It occurred to me that God seems to send me a theme each week, if I keep my eyes and ears open to look for it. This week definitely has a theme to it. I thought I'd share the gist of God's message to me this week with my five readers. (Yes, I am up from three!!)

I was reading in Alma 57... one of the dreaded war chapters. In those long chapters, the Lamanites keep attacking and the Nephites sort of succeed or get pushed around, depending largely on their righteousness. In Chapter 57, the Nephites are in bad shape. The Lamanites have them dramatically outnumbered (as usual) and the Nephite army is about to lose.

But, a small force of converted Lamanite boys hold the line. Literally. Those young, relatively inexperienced soldiers will not give up. Verse 20 says: And as the remainder of our army were about to give way before the Lamanites, behold, those two thousand and sixty were firm and undaunted. 21. Yea, and they did obey and observe to perform every word of command with exactness; yea and even according to their faith it was done unto them; and I did remember the words which they said unto me that their mothers had taught them.

Wow, what a spiritual punch is buried there in a war chapter! The whole army of experienced men were ready to give up, but these young men buoyed up the entire force.

I thought about that, and a long ago event occurred to me. In 1995, I was a sophomore in high school. I had an acquaintance from school participating in a "Battle of the Bands" at some venue. After begging and begging and begging my mom agreed to let me go with a new friend, Jennifer. We were in Biology together. I didn't know her very well, but she seemed quite nice. I am quite sure I never shared this with my mom, who did not really want to let me go anyway. About 2/3 of the way through this event, we walked outside to chat with some people out there. Some kids were standing in a circle, and one of them held his hand out. He offered us some pot.

I didn't hesitate. I didn't hem or haw. My mom had taught me. Drugs were wrong. I shook my head and said, "I don't do drugs because they're bad for you. But also, God has told us not to. You shouldn't be smoking that crap at all." (If I sounded preachy, well, I am sure I did. I was nearly insufferable as a kid.) Jennifer and I turned and walked away.

After we reached the school again, Jennifer turned back. Two other kids had walked away from the circle, too. She said to me, "Wow, I believe in God and I believe drugs are bad, but I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been there to tell them no. "

Three other kids passed on trying drugs that night because I had the bravery to say no, loudly, and clearly.

Satan's favorite lie is to convince people that they aren't good enough, and that they can't make a difference. He wants you to believe you are worthless. Useless. Because then you act like someone with no value. I don't know what you have going on in your lives right now. I don't know what struggles exist for you. I don't know what difficulty is pulling at you, threatening to drag you down into captivity, just like those brave sons, but I promise each and every one of you reading this that Satan's favorite lie is not true.

You are a son or a daughter of a God. He loves you. He created you. He wants you to be the one who makes the difference. You are strong enough and brave enough to change things, to improve the lives of those around you. Stand up. Hold the line. You are enough. And one little person can make a tremendous impact on the lives of those around them.

Bonus for you moms out there. You can make a difference, yes, but when you're discouraged about the dishes, the laundry and the general whining in your home, think about the profound difference your children will make... because their mothers taught them. You are doing God's work with every wiped nose, every scattered and frustrating scripture study and family prayer. You are teaching tiny people who will go out and save those around them. People who will light the world.

My message this week to all of you is that You Are Enough. You can do it. I know it, God knows it, and now you know it, too. I would LOVE to hear in the comments any examples you can think of when YOU made a difference (or someone in your family!). Please share!