Over and over and over and over... that's the key

I haven't written a blog on here in a while, and a few people have even asked me about it.  I usually write about things that have occurred to me during my day to day life.  I'll get an idea, and I'll put a note in my phone and then later I'll circle around and write it up.  I've had just as many ideas in the past few weeks, but I've struggled with a strange feeling lately, a persistent belief that I have nothing new to say to you, to the blogosphere, or to anyone in general.

Today, for instance, Emmy (my exceptionally high maintenance and melodramatic four year old) was crying up in her room half an hour after bedtime.  I ignored it for a minute, thinking it was nothing (it almost always is.)  But then that mom-conscience, you know, the one that kicks in when you want to feed your kids cold cereal for dinner, started pinging me.  Go check on her, go check on her, go check on her.  She's sad.  If nothing else, you can tell her everything is okay, and make sure she's fine yourself.

Don't go up there, the rational side of my brain argued.  If you do, she will re-engage and never go to sleep. This is a very typical battle for a mom, by the way.  Rationality versus the mom-conscience.  Inevitably, the mom side wins.

I went to see what she needed.  Turns out, her thumb hurt.  (Not from anything I could see.)  But I went downstairs for Neosporin and a band-aid and took it up.  I bandaged and kissed her, and tucked her in again.  She finally went to sleep.  As I came downstairs, it occurred to me that our Heavenly Father does this all the time with us.  We have a problem that He might not even see because it's not real, or it's not obvious, or it's so minor we really ought to just suck it up, but He still listens to our problem, salves our souls and tucks us in.  He always listens, He always checks on us, He always cares.

After this very routine experience, I thought, hey, maybe there's a blog in this somewhere.  Then that same thought I've been struggling with lately resurfaced.  It's basically the same thing I've said umpteen times on there.  "Look at this hard thing with my kids, and look that's how God sees us."  I didn't even bother making note of it.  Instead, I moved on and made a peach cobbler.  Yes, I have a baking addiction.  That's an unrelated problem.

It hit me a few moments ago that perhaps today's blog is boring and repetitive and nothing new.  In fact, I've read the Bible, the words of God's prophets, over and over and over.  I could take the position that there is nothing new there, and reading it is a waste of my time.  But then I would miss reading the story of Job again.  It's one of my favorites, and every time I've read it, I've come away with a new insight into the struggle of that great man, and a renewed resolve to endure through my (much more minor) trials.  I'd miss the tragic story of David.  I'd miss the story of Noah and the flood.  The stories from the New Testament, and my favorites, the stories about the life of Jesus Christ.

It hit me pretty hard that right now, I'm at a point in my life where I spend a lot of time with young children, so the Lord spends a lot of time showing me how I appear to Him through that lens.  I need it, too, because I have a graduate degree.  I have had a successful career.  I'm in danger of feeling like I'm "too smart" to listen to God, or to read the Bible.  I need to be humbled, to realize that I can't do things on my own, and that I still need to rely on Him.  Many of my readers don't have young children, and I think that's just fine.  I will try to avoid blogging about the same thing over and over, but when I do, I've come to the conclusion that it's okay.

Do you know what words show up over and over and over in the scriptures?  God.  Jesus.  Repent.  Forgive.  Hearken.  Sin.  Love.  Humble.  Atone.  They show up over and over because just like with our small children, we big old adults still need the repetition of scripture and sermons to help us remember what matters.

Today's blog is nothing new.  In fact, it's not my goal to be new.  It's my goal to help remind us all of the things we already know.

You already know that your joy comes from your family, but it's easy to lose sight of that when the kids are howling about how dinner stinks (when you spent five hours on it) and no one wants to practice the piano, and you have a mountain of laundry to wash and fold.

You know we're supposed to forgive others, but it's hard to do when that person you know keeps saying things that hurt your feelings over and over and over.

You know we need to be charitable, to share with others, to be free with our blessings and substance, but it's hard to do it when you feel like the person who needs help could be working harder, or providing for themselves.  It's the ones who are the least lovable who need charity the most, but we need reminding about that now and then.

You know that you need to work in order for your faith to work, but it's so hard to spend the free time you have working on something, and so much easier to complain that God didn't give you that blessing you wanted.

I guess my point is this: yes, sometimes it feels, in my blog, or at church, or when you're reading the scriptures, like it's all the same thing over and over and over.  The reason it feels that way is because we're human and we need to see and feel and hear the same thing over and over and over or we forget it entirely.

I'll leave you with this (repetitive) message.  I went up and let my daughter know I loved her and she was going to be okay, in spite of how tired of dealing with whining I was.  How much more willing to reassure us is our Heavenly Father?  He is always there.  Sometimes He will reassure you with the Spirit.  Sometimes he will use other people in your life.  Sometimes it will just be the synergy of things around you coming together in miraculous ways, but if you look for it, you will see Him, you will feel Him, because He is there with figurative bandaids and Neosporin, looking to reassure you that it will be okay.  Say a little prayer and then open your eyes and wait for His presence.  He won't let you down, I promise.