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Last night, my six year old daughter expressed to me that she was having a crisis of faith.

She had been praying, "for years" and none of her prayers had ever been answered. I took her concern seriously, sat down and talked to her about the details. As I gained more information, it began to make sense. You see, Emmy had been praying for the following things: 1) that her mother would become a Queen, so she would be made a Princess; 2) jewels (and she wasn't unreasonable. She'd take any kind or size of jewels); 3) a pony (again, reasonable. Wings and a magical horn was preferred, but without was also fine); and when all of that was ignored, she asked for 4) that God would make her never, ever get angry. She was most indignant about the last one. Apparently, the very day after she prayed for that one simple thing, she got very mad at a little boy on the playground who stole her swing.

You see, Emmy did not quite understand the nature of prayer. I took the time to detail a beloved prophet's journey through the confusing nature of prayer.

I love the book of first Nephi. Nephi writes unabashedly of his struggles with his brothers, and sometimes even with nature in that book. At one point, he is upset with his brothers and they tie him up. He prays to have the strength to burst the bonds so he can show his brothers God's power. In response, the bonds are merely loosened. He must rely on his words and the Spirit to reason with his brothers. It wasn't as flashy, but it worked.

Another time, Nephi is in a dream and he's in the dark. It's very black, scary, and unrelenting. He prays (even in his dreams he's righteous!) that the Lord will grant him mercy, and he is brought back into the light, but in a big open field. God continues to teach him through this dream. He may have wanted the lesson to be over, but it wasn't. You can tell he's learning here, because all he asked for was mercy that time.

I think all of us have a natural tendency to ask for things to be given to us, or miraculous acts to magically solve our problems. Nephi's own brothers asked many times to have God do things, or show His power. One of my favorite parts in the Disney movie, The Incredibles is when a small boy on a tricycle has seen Mr. Incredible smash his car. The boy is sitting on the sidewalk later and Mr. Incredible says something like, "What are you looking at?" The boy replies along the lines of, "I want to see something amazing, I guess." We are all like that young child, and we too want to see something AMAZING. I understand that desire. It's not only that it would be fun, but it would also be so much easier than the alternative.

Nephi and his family travel for many long months at God's direction, abandoning their home, their riches and all their friends and family. God has promised them an amazing land of plenty for their obedience. Imagine Nephi's disappointment when God tells him that first he must cross a vast ocean! At that point, I'd be begging for one thing: give me a cruise ship please, complete with servants, food at the ready, and entertainment. After all, I've got young children and my wife gave birth in the forest. Please provide. I have had and exercised my faith enough already.

God doesn't work that way. Prayer doesn't work that way. God tells Nephi that he will show him where to find ore that he can smelt down and make some tools. After making tools (which Nephi's family is understandably not too keen on), God tells Nephi how to build a boat. Guys, I can barely handle the pinewood derby. I would never ever ever put my family on a boat I was in charge of building. We would drown before we left the sandy shores.

Why does God ask us to do this hard stuff? Why? It's so HARD! Emmy has been praying so faithfully to become a princess. To get jewels. To have a unicorn/pegasus, or even a regular pony. She would settle for God just changing the simple nature of who she is to make her a little bit closer to perfect.

But God doesn't do those things for us, nor should He.

I've been studying Latvian lately, because we are Hosting two girls from Latvia (and we hope we will be adopting them soon). I want to understand how to speak to them in their native tongue. I already speak some Spanish, so I thought it would be easy.

It is not easy.

Many concepts we have in English, and even in Spanish, are lacking in Latvian. They conjugate nouns, guys, and adverbs. It's hard. Sometimes even Google translate has no idea what to do with what I'm trying to say. Similarly, prayer can be a little tricky, because we have to learn how to speak God's language. As we learn His language, we understand Him. We become like Him. He is teaching us with prayer. It is less of a tool, and more of a lesson, or homework if you will.

We want to say, "Please give me ____." We want that item or blessing to be delivered tomorrow, to our front door, with a pink bow. We're somewhat reasonable. A yellow bow would be fine. If it gets delayed, tomorrow afternoon might work.

Except God isn't Amazon. God wants to do something more than get a good review and have happy customers.

God has amazing plans in store for us. He wants to turn us into something phenomenal. He wants us to become ship builders, and orators, and forgiving people who are not full of rage. He wants to transform us. Giving you a gift does not transform you. Handing you something does not teach you. You have no idea what miraculous blessings are waiting for you, if you will take the time to learn how to pray, and then make the effort to learn how to listen.

When I was in college, my parents paid for a 1-800 number so that their kids, who had begun to spread out, could call them anytime. If you're young, you will not understand this. All calls are free right? And six year olds have cell phones. Except then, calls weren't free and cell phones were rare (and huge). "Data" was a guy on a movie called Star Trek. It was hard sometimes to reach someone. There were things called P-A-Y P-H-O-N-E-S, and you had to insert actual quarters to talk. Prepare yourself for this one. It will be confusing: there was no texting.

In light of all that wackiness, I can't express to you what a balm it was to my heart to know that, even with my parents a thousand miles away, I could call them from anywhere. If my car died, I could call. If I was locked out of my room, I could call them. If I got stood up for a date, I could call them. No matter the issue, I could call them for free, and they would be there, even if it was only to give advice.

Your Heavenly Father is and always has been a free call. But, I think sometimes we forget that we can't just ask for something. We should instead tell Heavenly Father our problem and ask him to help us, but let Him determine how that help will come. I tried to tell God once that I was supposed to marry this guy I'd found. He was good looking, funny, and smart. I thought he'd be just fine. God simply needed to get this guy on the same page, and bam. I'd be happy!

I had no idea God had Whitney in mind for me--someone infinitely better than the dope I kinda liked.

Back in the olden days of the 1-800 numbers, it was never enough for me to simply will my parents to know I was in trouble, either. I had to find a phone, dial the number, and wait for them to pick up. Faith requires work.

I know the holidays can be hard. Life can be hard, and it frequently is. Don't just drop to your knees and pray that God will fix your problems. Instead, find that phone, dial the number and listen to His answer. Drop to your knees and tell God your problem, then take steps to line up help. If you're lonely, go to a church activity or call a friend. If you're hungry, walk into the kitchen, and look around. If you need a job, look for job listings and apply. Take the basic steps that will allow God to bless you more easily. And when the opportunity comes, be ready to build that boat. You have no idea what you may learn along the way, but I promise you, it will be glorious, and your Heavenly Father has been dying to teach you and transform you into this magnificent creature all along.