A few months ago, I was pregnant with my fifth baby. I was on modified bed rest (i.e., get up and do anything you have to and otherwise sit around like a useless blob. It's very depressing, and not dire enough to merit any real concern. It sucked.) I had this condition that made me itch like I had poison oak all over my body. And I was going in for super fun bi-weekly ultrasounds. I had a very full plate.
I went with my four kids to church alone and sat down in a pew. I hadn't been for a few weeks thanks to the baby issues and spring break. I noticed a new woman sitting behind me with two older girls who I'd never seen before. The Spirit prompted me to introduce myself.
I declined. After all, I didn't have time to fellowship anyone, and soon I'd be out of pocket for like two months with a new baby.
The Spirit prompted me again. Introduce yourself.
I ignored it again. I had my kids here alone. I have too much going on. I don't need any more things to worry about. I don't have the energy or resources.
The Spirit prompted me again.
Fine.
I turned around and rather awkwardly said, "Hey my name's Bridget. I haven't seen you before. Are you new?"
She told me her name. She mentioned her kids ages.
There, good enough? I thought. But then during Sunday School the Spirit again told me. Sit by her. Gah. So I did. We chatted and it was nice enough. I found out her husband was overseas. Egads, she would need help. She was in the process of moving into our ward. I grit my teeth and offered to help, thinking, how am I going to be able to help someone else? I'm barely hanging on.
I should say here, I have always struggled with having friends.
This is sort of hard to say. When I was in grade school, and middle school, I was super dorky. The cool kids picked on me in part because my family was poor and my mom made my clothes, in part because of my librarian glasses, in part because we moved a lot which perpetually made me the new kid, and in part because I was... a dork.
When I got older, I like to think that dorkiness developed into a kind of bizarre, indie style. Of course, maybe it was just less pronounced, or kids got kinder. Either way, I wasn't picked on anymore, but I was never the kid who everyone wanted to be friends with.
It was okay, of course. I worked hard in college, and then in law school. I read a lot, then and now. And now, I'm married, have FIVE kids, and I work part time. I also write novels. I have plenty of things to keep me busy. I've never been someone who needed lots of friends or a busy social calendar and I live near my family and they are stuck with me.
But everyone needs friends.
I was lucky enough in Hershey to make a few close friends. I thought we'd be friends forever. But now they both live up north and they have families and are really too busy to do anything. Then a few months ago, my two closest friends (they're married) decided to move to Idaho! Boohoo! Right after I had my fifth baby. I was so bummed!!
God knew I needed a friend.
He had to prompt me to introduce myself to her four times. He had to force my hand, because I am an idiot and I thought He was asking me to do Him a favor. I was stubborn, but He knew what I needed. He wasn't asking me to serve; He was trying to bless me. The same scripture keeps coming to mind for some reason, as I contemplate the hand of a loving Father in Heaven in my life. It's about tithing. Which means it doesn't really apply here specifically. But, here it is anyway:
Malachi 3:10 Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of Hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.
I feel very strongly today that in our lives, God wants to bless us. God knew how desperately I needed a best friend. Someone I got along with, someone who didn't judge, who would be there to lift me up and support me. God sent Anna to me when I needed her.
He wants desperately to open up the windows of heaven and bless each of his children. He has untold blessings waiting for you. Some of them may be hard, like a special needs child, some may seem confusing, like a move, or a job change, and some of them may not make sense to you, but if you will listen to the Spirit, He will guide you to untold blessings, I promise you. He loves you and He has plans in mind for you that will be just what you needed if you will heed His promptings.
