Rolling Around on the Floor

My youngest child, Samuel, the one beaming at you in that photo, is eight months old.  He still can’t crawl.  He can, however, roll around pretty proficiently.  He would really rather be held all the time, though, thanks. In fact, being held usually results in a smile like that one.  

Lately, I’ve been putting him on the floor more and more, and abandoning him.  He protests this kind of horrific treatment with a lot of squawks and protests.  You see, rolling around on the floor stinks. 

He rolls into the coffee table.  He rolls off the rug and onto the tile.  We have a dog and a wool rug.  Both are fuzzy, and he gets fur/wool all over his fingers.  When he puts those fingers in his mouth, this gets even more annoying.  He has a play mat with toys, but as a roller, he’s constantly getting stuck or whapped in the face against one of the four corner bars that rise to make the overhang portion.  So you see…all in all…

Rolling around on the floor really really stinks. 

Today I was trying to tell him that I knew he didn’t like it, and I was aware of the problems, but I only made him do it so he could learn to crawl.  As I said that, it occurred to me that crawling kind of stinks, too.  After all, it’s hard on your knees, your hands and body get dirty, and you’re low to the ground. 

Life would be much easier if we could be born walking.  Actually, forget walking.  I’d like to be born running, or doing cartwheels.  I still can’t do a cartwheel and I’m 36, so I’m guessing that one’s never happening. 

And eating.  And talking.  And if everything we needed to learn was just easy and we didn’t have to learn it. 

Of course, I’m sure you see where I am going here.  I can’t even count the number of times I’ve dropped to my knees and asked God for an end product, a goal.  I haven’t put in the work.  I am rolling around on the floor.  I am covered with fuzz and getting stuck and I’m frustrated and I just want to run already.

I’ll even give you the example that came to mind for me today.  A few years ago, after graduating from law school, I decided I wanted to be a novelist.  Well, I sat down and after a lot of time and effort, I plonked out a book. 

Knowing it was clearly amazing, I sent out queries.  I also prayed.  A lot.  To get it published, and to do some cartwheels to celebrate my enormous upcoming literary success. 

The problem was, my book was awful, so I got nothing but a big old pile of rejection letters. 

God must have known it was terrible.  Even when we are terrible, God loves us and He wants to bless us.  He wants us to be throwing cartwheels all over the place.  But we have to learn to do that.  We can’t just ask for it.  It takes a lot of rolling around on the floor before we are ready.  I had faith, and God had love.  I just needed to put in the work.  So now, years and years and years later, I have written lots of manuscripts and guess what??? I still haven’t been published.  But now I can see some of God’s hand in my journey.  I like to think I’m beyond the rolling around and have graduated to crawling on my hands and knees.  I certainly think some of what I’ve been through has been knee-bruising, and a little soul-crushing too, if I’m being honest, but I think my writing has come a long way. 

Now let’s take this one more step.  If you are feeling fuzz covered or bruised, and if you’re a little frustrated lately because you’ve been praying and praying, and by golly, God just hasn’t been listening!  If you feel this way because he has not picked you up off the carpet and carried you in His lap over to the sofa… or whatever other end product you are praying for, maybe it’s not because He doesn’t love you.  Maybe He has something beautiful in mind for you.  Maybe you can’t see Him, but He’s sitting two feet away cheering you on as you learn to crawl and then He’s leaping with joy as you learn to walk.  Maybe He’s even standing there, hands outstretched as you take your first steps.  I know for sure He’s there beaming with joy when you start throwing those first cartwheels.  One day, even possibly one day soon, you will see that He had a plan in mind for you all along.  The fuzz and the getting stuck and the whacks to the head were hard, but they weren’t for nothing.  He had a purpose. You are magnificent, but you became that way because He let you roll around on the floor.   

Because God doesn’t just want to bless you with a one time gift.  He could pick you up off the rug and give you what you’re asking for but He’s not about that. God’s business, nay His joy, is growing beautiful, glorious, wonderful individuals to become like Him, to grow in His image.  It’s hard to deal with sometimes, but God has big plans for you.  So keep rolling around.  Keep trying.  Shake off the fuzz and pick up your bruised knees.  You will get there eventually, and it will be worth it.